Valentine's Day is Friday. And while I'd love you to meet UNCLE JIMMY at Continental Diamond for a loving bauble the best gift Rubes can give their girl is something called a Love Box, and it'll be the best V-Day gift she ever has received.

Here's the deal: Get a jewelry box, one the size that would contain a ring. With a sharpie write "Love Box" on the top of said container.

Then type in 10-point font things you love about her. Unfurl at least 20. Make it so it's like 10 words max and fits on one line. Double space the bit for the cutting later. Charm her with stuff like:

I love your smile.

I love the way you love me.

I love the way you treat the kids.

I love your patience with my work schedule.

I love your forgiving ways.

I love when you kiss my neck.

I love when we make, um ....

You get the bit. Personalize it. Make it as loving, warm and/or salacious as you want; whatever fits your relationship and unadultrated love for her.

Then when you have crafted at least 20 carefully cut them individually so you have them all on little strands of paper. Place them in the love box. Get some red ribbon and cut down the middle so that you have a bunch of thinly sliced pieces. Place them on top of the love lines so they are hidden to enahnce the surprise. Confetti works, too. Wrap the box in pretty paper. Bow on top is optional.

Be prepared for her to (a) potentially cry, (b) thank you in a way you never have experienced and (c) for her to tell family and friends how creative your are and how much she loves you for what you did.

Best thing yet is it's basically free of charge (save the ribbon/wrapping paper purchase) and will wow the heck out of her.

You can thank the Love Covenant Leader later.