#92Noon Parody archives: "Take Me to Charch!"

Paul Charchian is the Godfather of Fantasy Football. Less bloated than Marlon Brando, but nearly as powerful.

From Hozier's hit "Take me to Church," I created "Take me to Charch!"


I'm a fantasy loser, no need to look at my computer

Only brings upon me more hurt, could've asked Charch sooner

Too proud to follow his cheat sheet, what the hell is SafeLeagues

On a six game loss streak, new gut punch each week

Blew the first pick, I missed the playoffs....

My league thinks that I am just a fool, they always rip me in the chat room

Another season grabbing no loot, has feeling destitute

Got the third pick, I can't blow this, 

Not ever again....

Ayyyyyy, ayy friend, please make, this end...

Take Me to Charch, I crawl through the fog and into your light,

Show me a gem on the waiver, I got starters on bye

Facing Odell Beckham Jr, my god, help me get out alive,

Take Me to Charch, last time I had a shot was 2009,

Jones-Drew for the win, he kneels short of the line,

Listen, Charch, I'm begging you, my god, you are saving my life.............. x2

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