Anonymous op-ed piece from inside the Powertrip morning show

Photo: Getty Images

This show has gone off the rails and I can’t take it any longer.  

Meatsauce has reduced his role to two words; penis and wails.  And not Penis Whales, although if he reads this...more accurately, if someone reads this TO him...I’m sure he’ll draw a picture of a Penis Whale and post it on my cubical wall. 

As for Cory Cove, he’s verbally abusive, unaccepting, and incapable of feeling emotion.  And THAT’S in his home life.  He’s even worse at work. I spend most of my days trying to keep him from prank calling local psychics.  I can’t tell you how many time I’ve heard the following conversation:

“Hello, is this (psychic’s name)?  Good. What’s my name?   You don’t know?  I thought you were psychic?”

Hang up...

Satisfied laughter...

As for AJ, he has decided he no longer wants to work on days that end in Y. 

Ben Leber no longer showers unless he has a TV appearance, which means once a week.  And he’s, in his words, “no longer living by society’s rules when it comes to deodorant.”  Basically, I’ve now realized it’s possible to look like Brad Pitt and smell like Cat Shit. 

Mark Parrish...well, let’s just say Lemaire was right.  The only way to make him go away is to pay him a large amount of money. 

John Kriesel is lit and greasy and he won’t stop sending me porn gifs. 

I like Kriesel. 

Carly Zucker is a pretty, female version of my high school football coach.  She will throw scissors at your head and then try to convince you that she’s “only doing it because she cares about your future.”  I truly worry that she might kill her husband, and do so Very slowly.  It’ll be something like  “death by paper cuts”.  

She’s a straight up Lunatic.  

John Bonnes?  The Twins have finally done it.  They’ve driven him clinically insane.  Last Tuesday I caught him in the men’s room staring into a toilet bowl yelling, “don’t just float there like a turd, Gleeman, we’ve got a podcast to do!”  

Mark Rosen?  Well, out of respect for his age I’ll be as kind as I can be. I’ll just say those “Magic Fingers” of his need a good old fashioned washing.  

In truth, I think The Powertrip’s only hope for the future is Tommy Olsen.  If I were boss I’d hire him full time, hand him the keys to the show, and just let him giggle his way to victory lane. 

Yes, as you can see, the show has gone to hell. I’m doing all I can to keep it together here on the inside.  But it’s only a matter of time before each of these morons turn on each other and KFAN will air one final episode of The Powertrip. The podcast if that show, which no one will listen to, will be titled “The Day They All Ate Each Other”. 

I’m Goin Ridin’.  

I choose to remain anonymous. 

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