Paul Allen Breaks down the 2019 Vikings schedule...CAN'T FIND A LOSS!

Can't find the first loss, feels like 14-and-2, House of Pain, can I get a witness ....blahblahblah. The 2019 Vikings schedule is intriguing, and there are facets of it I love and some -- primetime game at Seattle, undoubtedly moderate chop on a flight home that arrives at like 5 a.m. -- I don't.

Enjoy.

WEEK 1 SEPT. 8 ATLANTA NOON -- The last time we played MATTY ICE the Vikings defense held him sans a TD pass for the first time in 28 games. Secondary better be ready for this high-level passing attack, and winning your home opener is a must.

WEEK 2 SEPT. 15 @ GREEN BAY NOON -- KIRK COUSINS fourth quarter at Lambeau last season was my favorite run our new QB had all season. How far along will ARODG and new coach MATT LAFLEUR be at this stage of the equation? If they select stud TE T.J. HOCKENSON at 12 who deals with him, HARRI or BARR or does ZIMMER use a corner? Compelling early season tilt.

WEEK 3 SEPT. 22 OAKLAND NOON -- If "the Autumn wind is a Raider" did we really have to have this game smack dab in Autumn? We'll see who is "pillaging just for fun" this Sunday afternoon. I like our chances.

WEEK 4 SEPT. 29 @ CHICAGO 3:25 p.m. -- Meat grinder. Start the blocking-MACK scheming right now. CORDARRELLE will want to score against us. The offensive lineman we take at 18 -- and maybe 50 -- will be thrown to the proverbial wolves in this one because the Bears are the target at which to shoot in our division. HUGE early season contest.

WEEK 5 OCT. 6 @ GIANTS NOON -- Zimmer versus SHURMUR. ELI versus a team that always kills him. RHETT ELLISON trying to get sneaky versus his former team. Better start planning now for rookie DT ED OLIVER because he's a handful.

WEEK 6 OCT. 13 PHILLY NOON -- Love all these Noon games early in the season. The one guarantee from this game is fans at U.S. Bank Stadium will not treat Philly fans the embarrassing way they treated us during that NFC Title game. Quality contest between two good teams.

WEEK 7 OCT. 20 @ DETROIT NOON -- The Lions should again be the worst team in the division, and it's important to steal a division road game at this stage of the season.

WEEK 8 OCT. 24 WASHINGTON 7:20 P.M. -- Okay, here's where it gets real. ADRIAN and CASE back in Minnesota, and Cousins versus his former team. Are we sure Keenum will be the QB by that time? What if they trade for JOSH ROSEN or draft one they love? Our run defense with LINVAL HUNGRY, SHAMAR, KENDRICKS and Hitman will be just fine, and there will be no "he's loose" bits associated with Peterson. W.

WEEK 9 NOV. 3 @ K.C. NOON -- Need the extra days to prepare for THE GREAT PATRICK MAHOMES. TYREKE HILL and TRAVIS KELCE are problems, too.

WEEK 10 NOV. 10 @ DALLAS -- Feels from afar like a low-scoring contest. Last time we played the 'boys Zimmer had to miss the game with an eye problem. He'll have this defense ready to roll for this one, and this is about the time of the season the rookie TE we draft starts to really play well.

WEEK 11 NOV. 17 DENVER NOON -- Wonder if TONY ROMO will call this game? DANIELLE HUNTER will feast on the statuesque JOE FLACCO.

WEEK 12 THANKSGIVING WEEK BYE -- All good. Chill family time. Special.

WEEK 13 DEC. 2 @ SEATTLE 7:15 P.M. -- MNF in Seattle ...again!?! UUUGGHHHHH! Well, December is a very important month to start finishing strongly, and this begins a quintet of very difficult games. I'm sure the moderate chop over Montana will be fine for the first time in 20 years. Better start texting IAN LEONARD now for a weather report. The Seahawks are not great, and this will be a winnable game even though THE GREAT RUSSELL WILSON zaps us basically every time.

WEEK 14 DEC. 8 DETROIT NOON -- W. Has to be a W because the next three are very tough.

WEEK 15 DEC 15@ L.A. CHARGERS7:20 P.M. -- SNF and THE GREAT AL MICHAELS lives in Los Angeles, so he got paid with travel plans. Start scheming now for S DERWIN JAMES, one of the game's most exciting young players. There will be more Vikings fans at this game than Chargers fans, and the fourth-quarter Skol Chant when we are winning will be memory-making.

WEEK 16 DEC.23 GREEN BAY 7:15 P.M. -- I'll worry about this game when the Packers actually win a game at The House of Pain. Absolute W, and we will have Hockenson figured out by now. Border Battle Battering coming, and this win will feel Gouda.

WEEK 17 DEC. 29 CHICAGO NOON -- Oh, geez. Well the 2019 schedule looks super fun, and I like having division road games the first half when everybody is healthy and happy and NFCN home games late when the best crowd in the game can root our guys to victory.